Motherhood is truly bliss. We all try our best to be 'perfect mothers' and often have 'mom guilt' on the way...Every mom gives her best and is the best version of herself. We are all great mothers right!
Mommies are on a 24-hour job literally. Once a mom, always a mom!
However, many times we tend to judge other moms or pass a comment questioning their personal choices or parenting choices. This is called Mom-shaming. Intentional or non-intentional, mom-shaming must be avoided.
Why? Because all moms out there are doing their best. We may not be perfect but we are all great in what we do. Mom-shaming may push a mother towards stress, depression or constant mom guilt. Who are we to judge anyone anyway!
So, to ensure that you are not mom-shaming anyone, here are 5 things you should know to never say to a mom:
1. Question her birth choice
"You should have tried more for a normal delivery",
"You had c-sec even after yoga?",
"Oh, you chose the easier option" -Comments like these may hurt someone.
Let's not question the birth choice of any mother. It's dependent on so many factors and is a personal decision. No option is less painful or worse or better than the other. Let's respect this.
2. Questioning the choice of breastfeeding the child
Bottle feed, direct feed or deciding when to stop feeding...is again a personal choice as per the comfort and supply of the mom. However, we often tend to forget that not everybody produces enough milk or decides to make breastfeeding the only option. Each way of feeding has its own pros and cons, so let's choose what works for us freely!
3. Comparing or commenting on baby milestones
"Oh your child is still not speaking",
"Don't tell me she's is not walking yet!"
This is a very common mistake that we tend to do. Comparing our kids with others or worrying too much about them reaching the milestones. Every child is unique and has his/ her own speed of achieving the milestones. Let's not stress out other moms more about it.
4. Commenting on when she should plan kids
"your child is 3yrs now, you should start planning again"
"you have been married for 5 years now, high time you have a baby!"
Well, not everyone wants two or more kids. Some may decide not to have children at all and some may experience medical difficulty which we know nothing about. Our battles are personal and so are our reasons to choose our way of life.
5. Commenting on her daily schedule
"First handle your child, this can wait",
"Is she really doing this in her free time instead of being with her child?"
Do we not judge how other women are spending their time. We all need our 'Me time' and we all have our goals to achieve. We can totally do it our way and it leads to our happiness only. And Happy mom = Happy child! Isn't it??
We need to support each other, focus on ourselves and grow to be our best version. Judging and commenting on others will only make us and the other person feel shallow.
So make sure we don't hurt anyone intentionally or unintentionally. Let's not say to others, what we also don't want to hear ourselves.
Written by Momzjoy Super Mom, Anisha Lakhan